Grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine) because things are about to get real for a moment. As we get closer to our due date I am starting to feel some anxiety creeping in. Never mind the pain of actually delivering the baby–I am choosing not to have any preconceived notion about how that is going to go because I know you can’t plan for such a thing. Well, I guess you can plan but I have never heard another woman say, “It went exactly as I had planned.” So my “plan” is to just hope for the best.
The anxiety I have been experiencing has to do with everyday little things that will occur after the baby is born. For example, last night while laying in bed I caught myself worrying about not sterilizing bottles properly! I have thought through scenarios of not installing the car seat properly, not washing the baby’s clothing in a gentle enough detergent, or even not being able to sooth him. I could go on but I will spare you the details of all the crazy little things I have been worrying about. If these little things are keeping me up before the baby is born HOW am I ever going to sleep knowing that there is a baby next to me that I responsible for keeping alive?!
This new found anxiety is so crazy to me because we have waited so long to become parents and I don’t doubt for a single moment that we are ready. I know we are–it’s just the closer the due date gets the more I feel a little panic setting in. I don’t know if it is because life is going to change as we know it or what. I am scared. Scared of messing up. Scared of not doing things right. Scared of things not going perfectly. This is probably the recovering overachiever in me. I know there is no such thing as perfection in anything, especially parenting and you do the best you can do on any given day. I know these things, but sometimes the fear takes over and controls my mind.
Logically, I know we will figure out how to sterilize bottles properly, install a car seat, wash clothes correctly, etc. When I break down my worries they are almost comical. I have been allowing these illogical thoughts to stay in my mind a little too long. What’s up with that? I know I have the ability to choose what I allow my mind to focus on!
When my thoughts start to get a little haywire I revert back to Philippians 4:13. It states, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” It is such a good reminder that we are not alone. We always have God rooting for us and guiding us with His divine inspiration. Not only does He give us His spiritual guidance but He places people into our lives to help give us physical guidance as well.
It goes without being said that we are anticipating Baby Schade’s arrival. We can’t wait to meet our baby boy and experience the unconditional love that having a child brings, even in the midst of all of the unknowns we will face as new parents.
Did you experience the same sort of anxiety pre-baby? What did you do to help with it? Please share your story in the comments. I would love to have some inspiration/advice from those who have been there, done that, and conquered it. 🙂
Don’t worry, that is completely normal pre-baby anxiety!! About a month before I was due I remember waking up in the middle of the night in a panic because I hadn’t learned how to install the car seat in the car yet and my midwife told me I could have Oliver early. I woke Derrik up and had him look at the manual, watch YouTube videos, and learn with me at 3am. HA! What a trooper. I wish I had some advice on how to overcome it! Because honestly, it gets even worse after you bring baby home. In the first few weeks I was googling ALL day making sure I was doing everything right. It’s okay though. I think the anxiety is just a sign that you care and you’ll be a great mama 🙂
Thanks for sharing Malia! That is too funny about watching the tutorials at 3 am in the morning. Derek is a trooper! It is crazy – all of the sudden a bout of worry will just hit me and I feel ill-prepared but in the big picture I know it will all be ok! I am glad to hear I am not alone in my sporadic worries! I should tell Cody he is lucky I haven’t woken him up at 3 am for tutorials yet, but that it could be coming! lol – At this point, I just wake him up b/c I am in and out of the bathroom every few hours!
Aww I think the fact that you are so anxious about doing things right already makes you an awesome mom! So very normal to feel anxious before his arrival. I remember laying awake, my mind going crazy thinking of everything and anything- and the more you think the more anxious you feel! My doctor recommended I take a few sips of wine to help calm myself at bedtime- it did seem to work. I also would read and turn on relaxing spa music. Lol. The good news is, you will make your way and learn as you go! The bad news is, to an extent, the anxiety is here to stay. I could make myself nuts thinking of bad things that could happen to my boys but, like you said, that’s where your daily devotionals come in and you take it day by day soaking in all the good things! Side note, feel free to stop by and observe laundry and stain removal at it’s finest- spit up, poop, food, dirt, you name it! We do it on the daily. ?
Thanks for the support Sara! I know we will learn as we go, and truly that is the only way you can do it. Historically, I have been someone who tries to prepare for all situations but this is one situation you can’t prepare a whole lot for! I am so glad I have a friend like you whom I can lean on for support/advice. Your comment about observing laundry/stain removal made me LOL. Cody and I may take you up on that – haha.
100% normal! With Hudson I actually had so much anxiety after he was born that I still wasn’t sleeping. I’d wake up in a panic thinking he wasn’t breathing. All I can say is, this too shall pass….
Hang in there
Love the “this too shall pass” comment. I have heard a lot of women say that they experienced trouble sleeping because they were so worried that their little one will stop breathing. I won’t be surprised if that happens to me but will try to remain rooted in faith/God to help calm my nerves/anxiety. Thanks for sharing!
Totally normal!!! I was lucky and had a rock of a husband who always calmed my thoughts (he was so rational!). I read a lot of information on newborns and becoming a mom, and I turned to my amazing supporters, my mom and my sister. It’s a very scary feeling. But I tell you when you lay eyes on your beautiful child all that fear goes away! It will all come so natural to you and you won’t worry about all those little things! And just remember there is no right way to be a mom, you just do you and what’s right for you and your family. And if you find you don’t have what you need, you can always send Cody to go get it 🙂
Thanks for the message Kim! I am thinking Cody is going to be the more rational one of our bunch too! Lol I think having an amazing mom, family, and friends is such an important component of raising a little one – I feel lucky there are a lot of women I can turn to for advice when it is needed. Thanks for the reminder on “no right way to be a mom” – I think that is such a huge thing to realize, especially because comparison can be so easy!
You got this momma and God has you! Your sweet lil boyfriend won’t know the details that bring you worry as he just stares at you and listens to you. You’ll do the same. You are going to be amazing to him, Cody and God. Keep your friends close and use their support when you feel weak moments. We learn through moments everyday and that won’t ever stop. Keep smiling.
Thanks for the comment April! Yes, each day is truly a learning experience. Good advice to keep friends close – sometimes sanity comes from hearing that other women have gone through it too (and survived)! So glad our paths have crossed! Xo
Everyone is right, the anxiety is crazy when pregnant and after giving birth to your beautiful baby. But with love and a strong partner, you get through it day by day. My husband and I were blessed with a beautiful baby boy in June this year but it was not an easy pregnancy. I was hospitalized with bleeding at 24 weeks, and our little Caleb decided to come at 35 weeks. Anxiety is real. And it is tough but we got through it. Have faith, love and compassion and you will feel at ease on those tough days. Congrats to you and your little one when it is his time to shine in this world. You will be such a wonderful mommy! And also your husband the best daddy, because I was blessed with a loving and caring husband as well who loves his son so much. You two will rock!
Thanks for sharing Katie! Definitely have to take it day by day. Sorry to hear about your bleeding at 24 weeks. I can imagine how scary that must have been… especially to have enough of it that hospitalization was needed. So glad Caleb made it to this world safely! Yes, Cody will be such a good daddy – so glad he is my partner.
I had extensive babysitting experience with my nieces and nephews, so I did not feel so ill-prepared, but when the baby (Ben) arrived, I felt great pressure to be perfect, and failed to trust Mike to be competent at anything. Please trust Cody’s way to be as good as yours. Baby’s are adaptable and flexible little things. They can survive a lot. Just know that your and Cody’s best will be more than good enough. He will be your treasure. Enjoy.! (P.S.. I feared eating even malformed candies when I was pregnant. Irrationality is a normal part of pregnancy..)
Thanks for sharing! I have heard other women say that they tried to “do it all” or didn’t trust their husbands to “do it right”… It is good advice to trust that your husband’s way is as good as yours! There are definitely more ways that one to do things! Cody is so excited to meet our little one – can’t wait to see the love in his eyes. Yes, irrationality is a normal part of pregnancy – thanks for the reminder! Lol