Grab a cup of coffee (or a glass of wine) because things are about to get real for a moment. As we get closer to our due date I am starting to feel some anxiety creeping in. Never mind the pain of actually delivering the baby–I am choosing not to have any preconceived notion about how that is going to go because I know you can’t plan for such a thing. Well, I guess you can plan but I have never heard another woman say, “It went exactly as I had planned.” So my “plan” is to just hope for the best.
The anxiety I have been experiencing has to do with everyday little things that will occur after the baby is born. For example, last night while laying in bed I caught myself worrying about not sterilizing bottles properly! I have thought through scenarios of not installing the car seat properly, not washing the baby’s clothing in a gentle enough detergent, or even not being able to sooth him. I could go on but I will spare you the details of all the crazy little things I have been worrying about. If these little things are keeping me up before the baby is born HOW am I ever going to sleep knowing that there is a baby next to me that I responsible for keeping alive?!
This new found anxiety is so crazy to me because we have waited so long to become parents and I don’t doubt for a single moment that we are ready. I know we are–it’s just the closer the due date gets the more I feel a little panic setting in. I don’t know if it is because life is going to change as we know it or what. I am scared. Scared of messing up. Scared of not doing things right. Scared of things not going perfectly. This is probably the recovering overachiever in me. I know there is no such thing as perfection in anything, especially parenting and you do the best you can do on any given day. I know these things, but sometimes the fear takes over and controls my mind.
Logically, I know we will figure out how to sterilize bottles properly, install a car seat, wash clothes correctly, etc. When I break down my worries they are almost comical. I have been allowing these illogical thoughts to stay in my mind a little too long. What’s up with that? I know I have the ability to choose what I allow my mind to focus on!
When my thoughts start to get a little haywire I revert back to Philippians 4:13. It states, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” It is such a good reminder that we are not alone. We always have God rooting for us and guiding us with His divine inspiration. Not only does He give us His spiritual guidance but He places people into our lives to help give us physical guidance as well.
It goes without being said that we are anticipating Baby Schade’s arrival. We can’t wait to meet our baby boy and experience the unconditional love that having a child brings, even in the midst of all of the unknowns we will face as new parents.
Did you experience the same sort of anxiety pre-baby? What did you do to help with it? Please share your story in the comments. I would love to have some inspiration/advice from those who have been there, done that, and conquered it. 🙂