It has been a long time since I have shared a personal post on my blog. For the past 4-5 months the biggest thing on my heart has been our pregnancy, which we haven’t shared until just recently. It hasn’t felt authentic to write about anything else–and I just can’t do non-authentic. It feels good to be back on the keyboard and typing my thoughts and feelings.
We feel so fortunate that we have been blessed with this miracle of a baby boy. Our road to pregnancy hasn’t exactly been a straight path but all of the curves, twists, and turns have been worth arriving at this moment. We wake up every day thankful that our baby boy is thriving in the womb and we can’t wait until we are able to meet him in person. We are not taking any moment for granted–we know life is a gift.
I wouldn’t feel right without saying that my heart goes out to all of the moms who are still in waiting. I know it can be so hard to patiently wait for your turn to experience the joy of pregnancy. Throughout our journey, I went through many different stages–anger, sadness, jealously–you name it. It wasn’t until I sought refuge in God that I felt contentment and peace around our situation. Only He can bring true peace. I came to understand that things would work out in God’s time. I had read accounts of miracles happening in the Bible and I prayed that we would one day too experience a real-life miracle. When Cody and I were able to step back and let go is when it happened for us. We were given a miracle.
I know that those words can be a hard pill to swallow especially when you are in the season of waiting. It can seem like you have waited your whole life–you may even wonder if you will ever be a mom. I know I questioned “why” I had to wait–was I not fit to be a mom? Is it something I did? Is God protecting us from something that wasn’t meant to be? I think it is normal to question situations that don’t go as planned or expected but it can become dangerous when you start believing lies that you are not good enough or not deserving enough to be a mom. Your thoughts matter. When I was battling negative though patterns last summer, I had a specific friend question me on what I was believing for. Of all places, it was on a wine tour–an unexpected place for that caliber of a conversation. 🙂 It was in that moment though, I realized I wasn’t actually thinking and believing that I would one day have a child. It was my wakeup call. It helped me to understand the importance of speaking life-giving words over myself and believing that miracles happen.
The good thing about being in a season of waiting is that seasons change. My plea to you, moms in waiting, is that you never lose hope. I know what it feels like to feel hopeless and it isn’t a good place to be. I know it is easy for me to say now, being on the other side of conception, but hope, belief, and letting go is what got me through. It wasn’t easy, but what is? Anything worth having in your life takes intention. I am still not perfect at it, nor will I be–that’s not a realistic expectation. I want you to believe that you will receive a miracle and know that you are 100% worthy of a miracle. Never stop believing that miracles happen. Speak life over yourself.
Although I have enjoyed opening up and sharing our news, my heart yearns for you to have this experience too. Moms in waiting, you will always be in my prayers.
While I was in waiting, I referred to the story of Hannah often in the Bible. I first learned of the story when a good friend invited me to her church in January of this past year. It resonated with me and it was a sermon I will never forget. Her story can be found in 1 Samuel 1; 2:1-11.
“For this child I have prayed, and the Lord granted me my petition of which I ask of him.” 1 Samuel 1:27