A thousand no’s are worth one perfect yes.
We get discouraged when we hear the word “no.” When we want something for ourself and it doesn’t happen we get mad. Going for a big goal and falling short makes us question why we went for the goal in the first place, making us feel like we are not worthy of it. When something is out of our control it can throw us into a downward spiral, emotionally and physically. We can even get so hung up on one single “no” that we forget all of the “yes’s” that have happened in our lives!
Have you ever taken a step back and questioned why something didn’t go your way? Why you didn’t get the promotion? Why you can’t get the results you want even though you are doing everything in your power to make it happen?
I am not talking like blaming your boss or a co-worker–I am talking BIG PICTURE here. Like, taking a huge step back and looking at your life from a very broad point of view.
Each experience you have, good or bad, shapes the way your future will be played out.
When you are continually “road blocked” from your desires it could be God’s way of steering you in another direction.
We get so caught up in the day-to-day that we remain focused on the “no’s”–feeling like we are failures. When we feel like a failure we tend to take pity on ourselves and complain that life is not fair or that the world is out to get us.
A simple mindset shift can give you a whole new perspective.
Instead of feeling like these negative situations are happening against you, what if you believed that they were happening FOR you?
Think of it like this: Every situation that you encounter is presented to you in a way that will keep you on your universal path.
You have to adopt a broader frame of mind to really allow this shift in thinking to takeover your thoughts.
Of course, life is always easier understood backwards. When we look at our past, we can always see why things happened the way they did and we have a sense of understanding, but when life isn’t going as planned, it is hard to find acceptance in the present moment. Your present will one day be your past, and so, with time, you will be able to understand why you were presented with specific struggles.
As much as we want to be, we are not in control. The sooner you can comprehend this the more peace you will have.
In my own life, I have seen setbacks flourish into beautiful things. As an example, in 2005 I moved to Colorado–it was always a dream of mine. After about a year or so, for many different reasons, I was unhappy and felt like I needed to move back home. It was my first time out on my own and moving back into my parents house after a year isn’t what I would necessarily call a success! After I moved home, my life was at a standstill–I couldn’t find a job with my degree, I was working in a restaurant, and just felt blah. One simple comment from my dad changed my life forever.
He said, “Sometimes not making a decision is actually making a decision–you are deciding to stay stuck.” and that was that.
That comment forever changed my life. I got excited thinking about the possibilities. I decided to go back to school for Radiology–I wanted a job that I was specifically trained in. To make some moo-la while I was in school I worked at Lucchese’s Italian Restaurant, which is where I met Cody. We married in 2012. My husband has always been supportive and he is the one who really encouraged me to marry my passions for women’s health and nutrition and further my education at the Institute for Integrated Nutrition. Because of his support, I was able to follow my dreams and become a health coach. So, fast forward from one low point in life to now and I feel like I am exactly where I need to be.
Do you think in 2005 when I was trekking home from Colorado as a “failure” I would ever have imagined where I would be today? NO!
So, my point is that, you have to trust the process.
When things are not going easy for you, say you keeping getting turned down for jobs, you can’t pass a certain test, you can’t seem to find the right person to spend your life with, you get cancer, you have fertility problems, you break a bone, the list goes on and on, you have to believe those things are happening FOR YOU.
Practice saying this to yourself, “This is not happening against me, this is happening FOR me.”
By embodying these words you will, over time, be able to adopt this mindset. Your world will change.
You will lift the pressure from yourself to be perfect at all times. You will no longer take it so hard when things don’t go as planned. You will not feel like a failure if you don’t get the perfect job or ace your test. You will learn to be gentle with yourself, to accept the ebbs and flows of life and to be appreciative of all of the gifts you have been blessed with.
As you adopt this mindset, some days will be easier than others–you are allowed to be sad, mad or pissed off. Emotions, both good and bad, are a natural part of being human. Give yourself grace.
When you are finding yourself in a difficult situation I have found comfort in the words below:
“This too shall pass.”
With the intention of adopting the philosophy of “this is happening for me” you will begin to shift your mindset. You will begin to let go of anxiety and you will begin to trust the process.
You will set yourself free.