How to make a marriage last!

Happy anniversary to my hubs–today marks two years!

Recently on a girls trip to South Carolina we sat around the kitchen table each taking a turn naming the one thing that we loved most about our husbands. I said that Cody puts everyone before himself and would do anything to help anybody and that is truly what I love about him most. He is a great son, friend, nephew, and husband. He literally goes out of his way to make sure everyone is cared for, has a good time, and has everything they need.

My family can attest to the fact that I am NOT the easiest person to live with. Thank God Cody was born with patience! I am not the best laundry folder, I leave a trail of things behind me in the kitchen when I cook or blog a recipe, and I leave the bathroom a mess. When I say “mess,” I mean it looks like a storm of makeup, toothpaste, and hair product went through our house!

We are newbies to the whole marriage game but I thought I would share my two cents on what it takes to make a marriage work.

1. Willingness to learn about yourself and each other.

There is this idea that once you are married everything is peaches and cream. Marriage is just the beginning of discovery. You learn to navigate life together and are sometimes faced with situations you never thought would occur. You have to be open to growing, understanding, and learning with and from each other. When you get past each little obstacle with an open heart and mind, your strength as one unit becomes stronger.

1. Get over the idea that you know everything.

This one may be more for me than him but I have a stubborn Italian attitude. I don’t know where I learned it (ok, I may have a few ideas) but I am beginning to understand that I don’t know everything and I am not always right. This is where Cody’s patience comes in–sometimes I am just a brat or give an eye roll when I don’t mean to, and he forgives. He is up front with me when I am acting like a 15-year old girl who doesn’t get what she wants! Because he is willing to step up and say “chill out,” I am learning to not be such a pain in the ass. I hope, anyways.

3. Be a team.

One thing Cody always says is that “we are on the same team.” It is so simple but so true. We are each other’s biggest support and number one fan. Sometimes it can be easy to push your spouse away when you have a bad day or are stressed out but that person is exactly who you need to draw in. You have to be each other’s rock, support, and best friend.

1. Try all dinners with a smile on your face.

Sometimes Cody and I play the “What Is the Worst Meal We Have Ever Cooked” game and we pick out meals the other person has botched. I made a God-awful shrimp with tomato and onion recipe when we first moved in together. At the time, he said he liked it but the truth came out months later! That is definitely on the DO NOT EVER make again list! Cody’s worst was a grilled pork chop that tasted like a hockey puck. Literally, I think our teeth almost fell out when we tried to chew it! The important thing is that we are willing to try each other’s creations. Meals bring people together and there is no better time for us than time spent in the kitchen over a bottle of wine.

5. Never sleep in separate rooms.

If someone tells you that they have never had a fight they are big fat liars. There have been a few minor (when I say minor I mean major) blowouts in our house. We have acted like we were going to sleep separately but then one of us always crawls into the other room to find the other. Fights happen but our love for each other is stronger than a fight and we both believe you should sleep next to each other even if you are a little pissed off.

I hope these little tidbits help you understand we are all in the same boat! Marriage is a lifelong commitment to communicate with each other and always being open to learning and change. Never expect for things to go as planned but always be willing to work as a team to navigate through rough waters.

Always say I love you.

God guided you to your spouse for a reason so love them with your entire heart and the love will be returned to you.

Happy Anniversary Cody! Cheers to many, many more!

Thank you Anderson Photography for the beautiful photos.