Do you ever think about life after death? I have had such a struggle with this topic for the past few years. For some reason, I think about the topic a lot. I don’t know if it is because I lost my grandparents within the past few years or what. They both meant so much to me and after twenty-some years of life with them, it is hard to think of life without them.
I have such a hard time wrapping my mind around the concept of death. I mean, you are here one moment and gone the next. It’s like, what happens to you? Is it dark? Is it light? Does it hurt? Do you know when it’s happening? Can you see down on Earth? Can you become an angel? Can you help your loved ones? Do you reunite with your family? Say someone dies and you know them at age 45 with a husband and two kids but someone else knows that same person from grade school–when/if you see them in the afterlife will they look 45 or 12 or 80? Or will you just recognize their soul? Will the person who knew them from grade school only recognize them as a 12 year old? I don’t even know if that makes sense, but I think about things like that all the time.
I think about how we have a body, mind and spirit. Our body is just a shell; who we are is at our very core–it is in our hearts, actions, and how we love others. Our spirit is the essence of our being. If our spirit resides in the shell, it would make sense that the spirit can still live even if the shell is gone, right? I don’t know–that is my hope; it is what I cling onto.
I know we are not meant to understand what is next, but it is so hard for me to be ok with not knowing. We are a world in which we seek answers–there is a cause and effect; a reaction for every action. When you think about it, we think we are in control but ultimately we are not. We do not know what is truly going to happen to us tomorrow. Everything can change in an instant. So, how do you become ok with letting go of control and not knowing the answers? I pray about this a lot. There are a lot of things in my life I don’t understand but I pray to be open to what is suppose to be happening and am thankful I have found a loving husband and have a strong family to support me. It really takes conscious effort to let go of control and go with the flow, so to speak.
Of course we should treat each day as if it is our last but this is much easier said than done. For me, it will be a lifelong practice to being fully present, aware, and alive each day of my life. I guess it is not always about the end destination but more about the journey along the way.
